Cutting free: 54 days
Self harm free: 174 days
Purging free: 16 days
Being inactive lately because I’ve got so much to do and also I don’t need tumblr as my diary where I write my bad thoughts since I don’t feel that bad lately. I’m purging free for 16 days and I’m very proud of that. Of course there are days when it’s hard to eat without purging but I’m fighting against it. I don’t wanna live with this disorder anymore, it destroyed so many months of my valuable life. But when I’m discussing with my love about it I always defend my bulimia and I feel so sorry for that because his only intention is to help me.
Anyways we had a wonderful week in Berlin and I can’t describe the feelings I have for him. It feels like I love him more and more every day and also he’s the first man my parents know so well. We are a couple for 3 1/2 months now and sadly I have to say it’s my longest relationship until now. But I hope it lasts. I don’t wanna talk about forever, this would be ridiculous but most of the time I know at the beginning of a relationship if it is a whole life relationship or not. And I have to say he’s just perfect for me, he’s also very intelligent which is one of the best things and very pretty and yes he’s just perfect. We are often talking about our future which I never did with a boyfriend before. And we are cooking together, he’s got good cooking skills because of his mother.
I’m scared because school starts in 2 weeks and I don’t want to go (what a surprise!) I did absolutely nothing for it during my holidays and I still don’t know what I want to do after school.
♥I follow back similar♥
I’m trying hard to live by Cat Principles.
1- I am glorious above all things
2- Eat when hungry, sleep when sleepy, play when bored
3- Affection is given and received on my terms and only mine
4- Show displeasure clearly.
6- Demand the things you want. If they aren’t given, demand them again, but louder this time.
7- If you are touched when you don’t want to be, say so. If they continue to touch you, make them bleed.
Doch kann ich schon ✌
I don’t just want this, I need this.
This hit so hard.
“I’m not a suicidal person at all, but on paper it seems that I am. I think I’m really quite horrible to myself in many ways. You always think it’s going to be fine, the body will repair itself. There will be another chance. But I’m 33 now. The body won’t keep repairing itself. You know when you can flick a coin and catch it on your elbow, and flick it up and catch it on the back of your head? And then you can’t even catch it with two hands any more. You realise something is wrong…” - Pete Doherty
That… Is not what I expected
I’m into it.